" So you thought he was growing tired of you, right?" Yes, but he also was all that I had anymore, even if I had not reallyknown him as long as it felt like. So I became jealous and I startedfollowing him. And one night, he went down into the woods behind school.It was dark and raining and he was carrying a flashlight, so it was easyto follow him without being seen. He walked down the normal trails andinto the woods. Maybe it was a quarter mile in when he turned onto asmaller trail. I continued behind him."***Peter was not any outdoorsy type, so I found myself confused why he wasout in the middle of the forest on a rainy night when the temperatureswere only a few degrees above freezing. He wound his way deeper into theforest. The trail we were on was muddy and I had to be careful not toslip. On several occasions, only a quick hand and a convenient treebranch kept me upright. But, it was not too long before I could seeanother light in the dark, and the light of Peter's flashlight. .. Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of herlungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff ormountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’ ‘That’s easy; he’s a midget with a speech impediment.’ ... So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if.
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